National Young Leadership
Parshat Vayeshev
December 12, 2014
This week's Shabbat Message was written by NYL Cabinet Second-Year Class Representative Seth Wong, from Denver.
Dear Chevre,
This week's Shabbat Message was written by NYL Cabinet Second-Year Class Representative Seth Wong, from Denver.
Dear Chevre,
Parsha Vayeshev is a fairly infamous parsha. The parsha is the story of Jacob and his sons, particularly Joseph. It is quite an action-packed parsha and, despite this very brief synopsis, I recommend you give it your own thorough evaluation, as there are many stories and lessons to be learned. In this parsha, Joseph has many dreams in which his brothers repeatedly bow down to him and, as his father’s “favorite,” he is given a coat of many colors.
(Quick side bar: This coat and Joseph’s life are the inspiration behind the Broadway Musical “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat,” and, in a bizarre twist, this musical was the inspiration for my family’s dog’s name when I was in high school: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, but we called him Joe. I didn’t realize this was the parsha that I had signed up for, but I’m apparently more connected to it than I thought.)
Resenting Joseph, his brothers initially conspire to kill him, but instead they sell him to foreigners, and he ends up in Egypt. Joseph gets hit on by his master’s wife. However, she claims he came on to her. Joseph gets thrown in jail, where he interprets people’s dreams and, with G-d on his side, these dreams become reality. Parsha Vayeshev ends with a nice cliff-hanger, with Joseph’s fate unknown.
In this parsha, we also have a small side story about Judah, one of the other sons of Jacob - no less important and pivotal because Judah will become the namesake of the Jewish people. Judah has three children. The eldest, Er, is married to a woman named Tamar, but he is evil and the Lord smites him. As biblical rule will have it, Tamar is then promised to the second son, Onan. But knowing that, per the rules of the Levirate Marriage, if Onan has a child with Tamar, it will not be his namesake, but rather Er’s as the first born. Onan “wastes his seed” and also is smited. (Yes, grammar buffs, “smote” is the proper term, but smited just seems like more fun.) Judah is then worried that his third and final son, Shelah, also will be smited (smoted?), so he does not give Tamar to Shelah and instead tells Tamar to go live as a widow in her father’s house. Years later, determined to capture what is entitled to her (procreation – more of the Levirate Marriage rules) and knowing that Judah is traveling, Tamar seeks to intercept Judah and deceive him into having relations with her so that she may claim her right to become a mother. Judah pays her for her companionship and, as surety for his payment, leaves his personal effects with her. When Judah sends someone to exchange payment and retrieve his personal effects, she is gone. Months later, Judah is informed that his daughter-in-law played a harlot and has become pregnant. He calls for her to be burned. The supposed harlot, Tamar, presents herself, as well as Judah’s cord, seal, and staff, and shows that he was at fault for not giving Shelah to her as was required. Judah admits his fault and takes responsibility for his actions.
What I want to focus on this week is the leadership attributes exhibited by Judah – not the acts committed by Judah, but how he responds. One of the things I have learned through my experience with Wexner is that Judah’s experience with Tamar, like many other stories in the Hebrew bible, shows that leaders are human and have flaws. As normal everyday people, they make mistakes just like we do.
Leadership is messy. We are human and inevitably will make mistakes along our leadership paths. The severity of those mistakes will be up to the individual and hopefully, we will act in our best manner to minimize the errors we commit and their severity. However, even after making the worst decisions, as in this story in which Judah does not give his youngest son to Tamar but instead commits a transgression of his own, a leader takes responsibility for his actions.
As leaders, we have to know when we have failed, when we have wronged someone, and when we have done something that was personally motivated and not in the interest of the community. We have to be able to claim our mistakes. If we cannot accept responsibility for our actions and act in the interest of others, do we deserve to lead?
There are people in our own communities who, whether we agree or not, may feel wronged for a number of reasons. We have people who are upset for not being thanked for their gift. We have people who don’t like the speaker at an event. We impact lives by asking one volunteer to lead over another, or by hiring for a new position within our federations. These are all decisions that result in simple outcomes but also can lead to complicated and hurt feelings. While these actions may be less severe than the case of Judah and Tamar, they may be no less important. After all, some of these actions and their repercussions may have a huge impact in your Jewish community. How we handle our decisions is what defines us. We will make decisions and “mistakes” throughout our leadership journeys, but the ways in which we choose to accept or respond to these errors will be what makes us true leaders.
As leaders, we have to know when we have failed, when we have wronged someone, and when we have done something that was personally motivated and not in the interest of the community. We have to be able to claim our mistakes. If we cannot accept responsibility for our actions and act in the interest of others, do we deserve to lead?
There are people in our own communities who, whether we agree or not, may feel wronged for a number of reasons. We have people who are upset for not being thanked for their gift. We have people who don’t like the speaker at an event. We impact lives by asking one volunteer to lead over another, or by hiring for a new position within our federations. These are all decisions that result in simple outcomes but also can lead to complicated and hurt feelings. While these actions may be less severe than the case of Judah and Tamar, they may be no less important. After all, some of these actions and their repercussions may have a huge impact in your Jewish community. How we handle our decisions is what defines us. We will make decisions and “mistakes” throughout our leadership journeys, but the ways in which we choose to accept or respond to these errors will be what makes us true leaders.
Shabbat Shalom,
Seth
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